1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. 2.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 3.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. 4.Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on. 5.Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" 6.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's Mine!" 7.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. 8.Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment. 9.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play. 10.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 11.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. 12.Ask, "Did you feel that?" 13.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. 14.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!" 15.Swat at flies that don't exist. 16.Tell people that you can see their aura. 17.Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it. 18.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!" 19.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 20.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 21.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your One of THEM!" and back away slowly. 22.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 23.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope. 24.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 25.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 26.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Don't be fly.

Someone said to me ' I'd love to be a fly on her bedroom wall as she's getting undressed'
I said ' I wouldn't. I'd rather just be myself!'

Analyse this.

A Shark's Tale.

Auto-suggestion vs. reverse psychology

Oneupmanship

Good dress, bad line.

Daddy's little helper

Uh?

Mmm...interesting.

Ring,ring...

Get your tackle out!

A couple go on holiday to a fishing resort at Lakes Entrance. The husband likes to fish at sunrise. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lakes area, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a fishing inspector in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies (thinking "isn't that obvious!"). "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry officer but I'm not fishing, I'm reading". "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and make a report." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault" says the woman. "But I haven't touched you" says the man. That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am" and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.